'Ello...

Well,it's the time of year that our quaint little town gets invaded....by travelers...or Pikeys...or Gyppo's...however you refer to them!

We have a 'Horse Fair' Pikey Parade thing Bi-Annualy,and they come from miles around to buy and sell utter shit and cheap lace their wares.

A chance for the women to find a shag 'The One' ,
Wearing so much fake tan they are orange,clothes designed for a hooker,and stilletto's caked in mud!! Oh,and the hula hoop earrings, It does have it's comedy factor!

I personally don't have 'owt against them, but it comes to summat when Tesco's are tagging the legs of lamb!!
And...all the local pub's close,and most of the shops....and not to mention the amount of cakes the bakery lost last year

People don't let their kid's go 'up street,you nail everything down and you definatly don't argue with them!!
You let them shout abuse at you,you ignore the rack of beef he just put in his pocket,i could go on....

Even the local police let them get away with more than ya average local would!...and that's not to mention the extra 100+ police that come for the day itself!
But...when i phone for 'Police assistance'..it takes them hours!

But...as they say...

''All the fun of the fair'' ....my arse!!

xMwahx

''Mum...i had a fight at school today''

''Why??''...

''Cos' he said you was 'Fat'...so i stamped on his toe''

''But...i am fat sweetheart''

Looks up at me....eyes open wide...as if to say ..''You know''...

Pure innocence!!

xMwahx

Evening !

Hope you have all enjoyed your weekend...mine's has been intersesting....but,if you spent the day with my family...your's would have been the same!!

Love them as i do..we are slightly dis-functional

I mean.... If some random shoved a take-away menu in my face ...along with the words....
''Mmmm.....Smell it milly'' ....like im that Fat i'd eat the damn thing...i'd give em what for but,as it was family...it don't matter..!!

And....Who else would talk about his arse being nice and pert as ''it gets a good workout''...one of my dis-functional siblings

And.... who else would come out with.. '' Is uncle_______ a lesbian??''

Yep...my dis-functional family....

But....i laugh harder when i am with them....than i do when im not!!

You rock my world! Lurve ya !!

xMwahx

And ...im sure this is spelt wrong....'functional' ..

Evening all !!

Well....i have just taken this test...and was amazed at the result!!

''Your Sex Appeal is 7.9 out of 10
Beware of cute guys!!!''

And...before you ask...i answered the questions honestly!!

Me thinking it don't work

Give it a go....bet'cha can't beat my score ...LMAO

http://www.lets101.com/blog/quizzes/sex_appeal

xMwahx

Afternoon !

Well....im back on track (i think) with the whole 'battle with me bulge' thingy!!

Can't go through life having people make remarks about my size...it gets a tad annoying at times

I personally like .... ''you have such a pretty face''...
Such a insult,but in a nice way !

So....i started walking again,but it got a bit boring...so,we invested in a 'Nintendo Wii'...as it gets ya off ya ass !

Now....what i wanna know is...what's the maximum user weight on one of them ''Wii fit'' things!

Wanna get one,but don't wanna break the thing cos i is too ''bulky'' ! Imagine the shame of that

And, i certainly don't wanna ask in the shop either ...even more shamefull!!
Have tryed looking online,but can't find it..Grrrr...

So....i don't s'pose anyone has one and knows the answer???

xMwahx

1. What is your favourite comedy film?

That would have to be any of the 'Carry on' films!!

2. What is your favourite comedy on TV?

Gavin And Stacy

3. Who is your best Comedy actor/actress?

Jim Carrey

4. If you could write a comedy what would it be about?

Oooooo...i dunno LOL

5. What is the Funniest thing you have ever seen be it in person or on a TV show or film?

That would have to be my mate kev, table dancing to 'Dirty'...was cracking!! (i have video footage LOL )

xMwahx

This is scarily accurate!!

Your Personality at 35,000 Says...

Deep down, you prefer spending time alone to spending time with others. You enjoy thinking more than talking.

You are finding your place in the world, but you still feel overwhelmed. There's a lot of choices out there!

Your gift is having a way with words. You know how to express yourself well.

You are inspired by almost anything. You don't have many mental blocks.

You are happy but often stressed out. If you can slow down and appreciate life, you enjoy it a lot more.

http://www.blogthings.com/thepersonalitytestat35000feet/

So....What's your peronality at 35,000 feet!!

xMwahx

Good afternoon!

Well,as some of you know,i recieved a lovely email,from a unknown sender a few weeks back!

Well....me being me,i could'nt just let it lie,and felt that i should email this asshole person back,and tell them how rude i thought they were!

This is the email i had in response!!

I am so angry at how disrespectful fat people are towards thin people. yet we cannot be equally disrespectful back. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Im sure you walk down the road and take the piss out of thin girls?
Sometimes I just want to climb a lamppost in a very public place and shout:
"Fat people suck! Fat people are unhealthy pathetic people who demand that I have more respect for them than they obviously have for themselves''!
Fat people also stink and that's a gross distgusting FACT!
Fat is NOT fabulous!
FAT is weak.
YOU are the weak links.
I will never hire you.
I will never work for you.
I will never marry you.
I REJECT YOU and your slobby, blubbering, whining, oinking ways."

Ahhhh. I feel better. Now I'm gong to finish eating my tuna salad while you,Fat Ass ,munch away on your doritos and oreos. Oink oink stinky. Keep on shovin' it in.
Hear from you soon no doubt!

Well.....was'nt that nice!!

Right....now...where did i put my dorito's!!

xMwahx

I am proper pissed off tonight!!

Im off to the pub to get wrecked!

my apologies for not catching up with posts!
Will do so tomorrow...with mega hangover!

Night all xxxx

Hello all...again!

Well,here's another post that made me chuckle....so yet again,im sharing it

Chinese for idiot's!

'That's not right'........ 'Sum ting wong'
'Stupid man'.............. 'Dum fuk'
'small horse'............. 'Tai ni po ni'
'I walked into the table'.. 'Ai bang mai fu kin ni'
'You need a face lift'..... 'chin tu fat'
'It's dark in here'........ 'Wai so dim'
'Your in a tow-away area'.. 'No pah kin'
'He's cleaning the car'... 'Wash in ka'
'God,you smell'.......... 'Yu stin ko pu'
'Thought you was on a diet?'... 'Wai chu mun chin'
'Man,i ain't done yet!!'....... 'Wai yu kum nao?'

xMwahx