Search blog.co.uk

I've had enough...

by xmillyxxx @ Thursday, Jul. 10, 2008 - 20:30:08

Of feeling guilty!

As some of you know, my brother was overtaking another car in March and had a head on collision with another car.

Tragically, 7 people died, including my brother,neice and cousin.

I know that he was at fault, but it was an accident and i just wish people would see that.

We have had so much shit as a family regarding this and have had to read headlines such as 'Killer' and 'Death Driver'...
and read people comments to said articles...''hope he rots in hell''...''Im glad he died''...etc.

Tonight....i was serving at work, chatting to the customers ...as you do...when he brought up the accident.

He starts going on about what a nutter the bloke was and how if he had'nt of died people would of killed him...god job he's off the roads and so on....i listened quietly for a good 5 minutes....thinking that his children,my mum,family and myself...we are not glad he died....yes,he was wrong..but we loved him...still do....and to hear people talk about him like that angers me.

He obviously did'nt know it was my brother he was referring to. I simply said to him that as he does not have all the fact's...don't pass judgement.

He then asks me if i knew any of them....i said yes, the driver was family. His face kinda dropped!

Apoligising like mad whilst saying he did'nt mean what he said.
I told him that people are intitled to have an opinion, and he meant what he said or he would'nt of said it! Then told him that it was ok as i don't hold grudges with people for having a opinion,but to be cautious with whom he shared it with!

As he left,Several customers in line, told me how well i handled the situation. yeh...maybe...but now....i feel like shit!

Trackback address for this post:

authimage

Comments, Trackbacks: Hide subcomments

la_spicela_spice [Member]
2008-07-10 @ 21:01

You handled the situation with dignity - well done :yes:

As for feeling guilty you've nothing to reproach yourself for :no:

Take care x

xmillyxxxxmillyxxx pro
2008-07-10 @ 21:40

I did have to bite my lip rather hard :yes: ...thanks hun {{Hugs}}

MissyMouseMissyMouse [Member]
2008-07-10 @ 21:41

Aw bless you!
What a difficult situation for you and yes, it sounds as though you put your thoughts forward gently but with force. Your pain and loss will always be with you regardless of who's fault the accident was....

Hugs xx

xmillyxxxxmillyxxx pro
2008-07-10 @ 21:45

{{Hugs}}

I t was hard..as all i really wanted to do was lunge at him!! As for the pain and loss...I now know the saying 'time heal's' has true meaning,the hurt's still there everyday..but not as hard as yesterday!

xx

kevinwilsonkevinwilson pro
2008-07-10 @ 21:54

sounds like you did fantastically well under a lot of pressure - better than i would have done.

you're bound to feel sore and a bit raw, but you're dealing with it, so don't be hard on yourself.

xx

xmillyxxxxmillyxxx pro
2008-07-10 @ 22:00

Thank you.... a small part of me felt that i should of really gone off at him and defended my brother... but i feel that i am bigger than that! ..and you can't defend someone you know is to blame ... and that is part of the reason i feel guilty in myself!

God...i sound like a right moaning minnie!!

xx

londoncitylifelondoncitylife [Member]
2008-07-10 @ 23:01

Oh my god, it must be so hard for everyone, and there is no bad guy in this whole situation. I can't even think of anything to say to make yu feel better. Just hang on there.. you are not alone. You still have family that want to support.

xmillyxxxxmillyxxx pro
2008-07-11 @ 10:31

Thank you for the kind word's...it really does help xx {{Hugs}}

NotBobNotBob [Member]
http://notbob562.webs.com/blog.htm
2008-07-10 @ 23:03

You handled that extremely tactfully, and you should be proud of yourself for that. A lesser person would have had that git pinned against the nearest wall!

*Hugs*

x

xmillyxxxxmillyxxx pro
2008-07-11 @ 10:32

I must admit...i came close...my lip was rather sore as i had to bit it hard! I feel proud for not letting my mouth run away with me! {{Hugs}}

modone1966modone1966 [Member]
2008-07-11 @ 00:08

You can't be responsible for what other people have done, no matter who they are! You reacted well and with great dignity and I'm sure your brother, and all your family, will be proud of you!

xmillyxxxxmillyxxx pro
2008-07-11 @ 10:34

I know hun...but i do sometimes feel guilt. trying hard not too!

At least i know that i can control my temper now :))

hope ya ok xMwahx

modone1966modone1966 [Member]
2008-07-12 @ 02:05

Yeah am fine hon! Just wish it wasn't so bloody hot all the time :( mwah :)

EsspeeEsspee pro
2008-07-11 @ 00:18

I not on here much commenting but had to for this,,,,,
WELL DONE! ((((HUG)))) x

xmillyxxxxmillyxxx pro
2008-07-11 @ 10:35

Nice to see you here hun!

Hope you are well. thanks for the hug {{Hug}} xx

Decado66Decado66 pro
2008-07-11 @ 08:17

You have reacted with dignity and the emotional cost to you must have been terrible *Big squishy hugs* remember you have done nothing to be ashamed off.

*hugs*

xxx

xmillyxxxxmillyxxx pro
2008-07-11 @ 10:36

I was shaking so much trying to hold it in....i admit to having a cry after work...but feel much better today!

big squishy hugs back {{hugs}} xx

CecinCecin [Member]
2008-07-11 @ 10:20

Well done for holding it with such dignity!
This is one of those occasions that shows there is a side to every incident and unfortunatly its the people that dont see the hurt on both sides that cause problems.
Big hugs for you sweetie xx

xmillyxxxxmillyxxx pro
2008-07-11 @ 10:31

Thank-you. Yes..people don't really see that we hurt to. I just wish people would keep petty comments to them selves. thanks for the hug {{Hugs}} xx

PurpleDragonPurpleDragon [Member]
2008-07-11 @ 17:09

It is strange to actually hear the story from the other side. Most of the time you only hear from the sort of person you had speaking to you today. I find it interesting how some people follow the herd and spout nonsense based on hearsay and media propaganda, when they don't know any of the facts and don't consider that your brother could have had family. Everyone makes mistakes. Unfortunately, your brother's mistake was fatal. I have been driving for many years, and I have made lots of mistakes. No one is a perfect driver. Perhaps it is fear of what we are all capable of, given the wrong circumstances, that makes us so judgemental of those whose mistakes are less easily rectified.

Hugs to you. You have no reason to feel guilty.

xmillyxxxxmillyxxx pro
2008-07-11 @ 23:40

You rarely read a story from the 'other side' ...We did'nt feel strong enough to do it at the time and kinda regret it in a way...as people may of been more under standing if they knew he was someon's son,father, brother etc...in stead of just some 'killer' or 'nutty driver'...

Like you say ,people make mistakes...we all do it...some just bigger than others.

Thanks for the kind words. Take care

{[Hugs}}

amanda32amanda32 [Member]
2008-07-14 @ 08:30

aww mills....like u say to me yur better than that just rise above it. you do have the facts and you know it was an accident, hope this shit time for u passes soon, mwah xxx

xmillyxxxxmillyxxx pro
2008-07-15 @ 09:18

Thanks hunny. I will be glad when it's all over and people can move on! Hope ya ok hun xxx {{Hugs}}

Leave a comment :

Your email address will not be displayed on this site.
Your URL will be displayed.
Allowed XHTML tags: <!, p, ul, ol, li, dl, dt, dd, address, blockquote, ins, del, a, span, bdo, br, em, strong, dfn, code, samp, kdb, var, cite, abbr, acronym, q, sub, sup, tt, i, b, big, small, img>
URLs, email, AIM and ICQs will be converted automatically.
Options:
 
(Line breaks become <br />)
(Set cookies for name, email & url)
Validation code:
Please enter the above code here:
For protection from spambots (case-sensitive).

Recent Posts

  1. You criminal...
    by xmillyxxx pro on Friday, Nov. 21, 2008
  2. I write what I wrote...
    by xmillyxxx pro on Saturday, Nov. 15, 2008
  3. Robbing'Effing, Bastid's...
    by xmillyxxx pro on Friday, Nov. 14, 2008
  4. WARNING....
    by xmillyxxx pro on Sunday, Nov. 09, 2008
  5. ....For Tomorrow...
    by xmillyxxx pro on Thursday, Nov. 06, 2008
  6. A Lesson From The Donkey...
    by xmillyxxx pro on Tuesday, Nov. 04, 2008
  7. Tagged....
    by xmillyxxx pro on Monday, Nov. 03, 2008
  8. *Sigh*...
    by xmillyxxx pro on Monday, Nov. 03, 2008
  9. Patience...Young Lady..
    by xmillyxxx pro on Tuesday, Oct. 28, 2008
  10. Well I never.. :))
    by xmillyxxx pro on Thursday, Oct. 23, 2008

Footer

The content of this website belongs to a private person, blog.co.uk is not responsible for the content of this website.