I keep having flashbacks...Some really are not nice 
.. Anyway..Here's what I do remember..And Im sure someone will fill in the gap's in due course!!
The weekend started at 10am saturday morning..We were drinking on the coach by 11.30..By 1pm I was feeling rather merry and remember doing 'things' with the blow up man..Much to the amusement of the cars behind the coach!!
Some of the girls even treated the lorry driver's to a cheeky flash! Of course..You would'nt catch me doing anything like that...I left that for when when we were struggling to get a taxi after a long night on the piss... Amazing how quick them taxi driver's stop when ya get ya bap's out
We arrived at our Hotel.. 'The Chelsea Hotel' ...A welcoming home from home *Snrk*..Situated in the heart of the 'Red Light District'... My outfit was going to fit right in round here I thought! At least if money ran short I'd be ok! The area was proper rough as well ..but to be fair...Ya not expecting to stay in 5 star luxury..A gaggle of pissed up woman rolling in the door at lunchtime asking when the bar opens don't exactly start ya off on the right foot does it! No wonder she wanted a deposit for damages and possible theft the minute we got there!
After lining our stomachs and putting on warpaints I ended up looking summat like this...
But of course..You've all seen it anyway...And I was'nt pissed when I took the other ones!!
The night started off great and then much off it was a blur after that..Untill photo's like this started appearing on Facebook...
I can clearly remember he was wearing a badge that said 'Big Boy' on it... I was shouting at him,..
" How much of a big boy are ya now then huh?" ..He had a bigger welt than I did!! As his mates were pissing themselves laughing..This happened several times during the night..Randomly whipping men just because I could...and many asked for it...I even spanked the bus driver...He must have been in his 60's..
Except when the whip got turned on me..By a tasty lady in the loo..Who told me that she could "do me" in that outfit! I have to admit I had serious doubt's about my sexuality that night... Ohhh..The dark side of alchohol!!
I also had a few moment's in the toilet's ...I now understand why women go in pairs cos after a few drink's I had real issue's with remembering which way I went back together..Was it undies,tight's,bodyshaper then spanx or what...I do know that I ended up flat on my back in the cubicle trying to figure it out..Cursing loudly.. whilst someone was giggling trying to take photo's under the door!! Please God...Let it off been one of the other Hen's
There are a few thing's that I said/did that I look back on and possibly regret...Like flashing at taxi's...Trying to pee up a lampost..It's ok..I lost my balance!..Asking the barman to "Give me a screaming Orgasm" in a seductive manner ...His face was priceless....I obviously just looked twatted...Trying to pole dance in a PVC dress...It sticks!...And drinking a bottle of wine before going to Burlesque!...Jo Brand does Fame Academy!! ..And it's on YouTube...
But all in all..I really did have a fab weekend..Even if i did'nt win 'Best Tit's On Tour'... these did !!
And rightly so!!
Still..Ya only live once..don't ya...And im sure ive just lost a few year's of mine...But it sure was worth it!!
