What To Do..

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What To Do..

by xmillyxxx ^Pro @ Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 – 21:53:15

Im having a major wibble with myself..

I love both my girls equally..always have.Of course, they often squabble and fight and I treat them fairly ..but find myself getting accused of loving one more than the other..Sibling rivalry they call it..

So here's where the wibble comes in.. Ive found a cheap-ish offer for a 'McFly' concert at 'Butlins' in november.. 3 days Dinner,bed and breakfast plus the concert..

Cheap for a number of reasons..Its Butlins..In November..And it's McFly!..Not forgetting the venue is Minehead.. I really could think of better thing's to spend £200 pound's on..

But...Eldest would Love it..She loves Mcfly! Plus they do loads of other activities like cheerleading and dance school..And the evening entertainment look's ok so I'll be sorted !

Sooo..Can you imagine how the youngest is going to react when told that Mummy is taking Eldest..and only eldest.. away on holiday..Without her! I can hear it now.. " You love her more than me" ..And so it begins! That gnawing guilt...

If I could take them both..I would.. But Its twice the cost to add youngest ..which I can't do truthfully..and she would'nt appreciate the 'first concert' expierience..I might even let eldest have WKD ! (I am joking!!)

But..I really don't know if it's worth the hassle..I know youngest will have a major tantrum and quite possibly hate me..It means begging for time off from work..And spending money I aint really got..

What to do people...
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77 Comments to What To Do..

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- PurpleDragon
- Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 21:56:40
If it were only the question of whether the youngest is gonna be pissed, then go for it. You can't treat them equally all the time. They are different people, of different ages, with different interests. What I do with my three is do one thing with one of them, and something else with another, and something else again with the other. That way they all get to spend 'alone time' with me, doing something they like, and - oh bliss - with no arguing! Can't comment on the rest of it though.
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 22:57:07
  I think that youngest is the main issue..I know that she will hate me for it..But she'll get over it. It's just that I have always done things together with them and always treated them the same.. Im looking forward to having some one on one with eldest though..
  
  And will do the same with youngest aswell..If she aint too stroppy with me! xx
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- brokendownangel ^Pro
- Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 21:57:19
Plan to do something with the youngest when you tell her about the concert, I think you are right and it wouldn't be for her. See if there is something she would really love to do - riding lessons or summat she could do as an ongoing thing maybe? Or plan a few trips just for you and her, it is hard but she won't mind as much as you think, don't beat yourself up about it either. They are different ages and like different things, you could also make it a huge part of eldests xmas pressies and maybe get youngest summat really special x
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- - LandersUK
  - http://www.iamlanders.com
  - Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 22:11:15
  I agree.
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 23:06:32
  I think that making it part of her xmas present is a good idea..that way I am not spoiling her either..
  
  And am going to ask youngest what she wants to do as Soy suggest's as that way she will feel involved and not 'snubbed'...She has proper family gene's and can have mega tantrums
  
  xx
  - - brokendownangel ^Pro
    - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 07:43:35
    Ooh I know all about those - I give em and the blonde gives em to me
    - - xmillyxxx ^Pro
      - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 11:25:23
      Tantrums run in the family! Who has the most spectacular..you or the blonde??
      - brokendownangel ^Pro
        
        Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 12:54:30
        
        Now that depends on who you speak to, but as your Dad says she is like me when I was little...
        
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        xmillyxxx ^Pro
        
        Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 15:20:44
        
        My Dad reckons she is the spit of you!But my Mum reckons I was a little bitch when I was little and im sure she's mistaken..So Dad could be too
        
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        brokendownangel ^Pro
        
        Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 15:22:24
        
        PMSL
        
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- murphymole ^Pro
- Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 22:02:02
I think if it's just the *tantrum* thats bothering you then you should go for it, it doesn't hurt for kids to learn that they can't always have what others do as long as at some point you do something just for the youngest too.
But if it's going to make work awkward and money scarce only you can know that.
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 23:10:30
  It is'nt really the fact that she will have a tantrum..Those I can deal with..Lots of practice
  
  More that she will think that I love her less.. But with a bit of smooth talking and the promise of a special day/night away with mummy im sure we can work it out.
  
  And work will be ok..Im sure I can swap something around! xx
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- QueeneMab
- Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 22:05:21
Take the eldest this time and then have a treat with the younger one in a few months.

x
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 23:11:36
  I think that's what I will do..It will all work out good in the end xx
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- deleted user (Visitor)
- Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 22:05:48
having 3 girls have been there... a nightmare

it was harder when they were younger and nobody got anything and they soon cottoned on everyone likes different things at different times.

I would take the older one....and tell the younger one can have her special treat later on

good luck Milly xx
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 23:14:44
  I think that as eldest has grown up a bit ive noticed that they like different things..A few years back Id have just booked them both on the Tweenies break..no worries!
  
  Im looking forward to spending some one on one time with her..we never get to do that what with school and work..And then I get to do it with youngest when I treat her too..
  
  After she gets over the mega strop she will have first..
  
  xx
  - - deleted user (Visitor)
    - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 10:23:12
    absolutely Milly... I found that two all four of us used to go to Butlins then became Haven for weekends...(grump stayed Home)
    
    Over the weeks they grew to like different things, especially the twins....never liked them dressed the same LOL
    
    had mega strops .... I was the wicked witch of the east but they soon got over them..as your youngest well in time...how much time well milly that is another story
    
    hope your washing machine guy turned up have a great day xx
    - - xmillyxxx ^Pro
      - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 11:29:15
      We just did Haven for the week..And have decided to try Butlins for the weekend..and we are leaving the Grump at home ..And I know that I am going to be the wicked witch for a while but like you say,she will get over it!
      
      And i have some good deflection tactics to try first so it might not be too bad..she says!
      
      Washing machine man is'nt coming untill tuesday!! Mega flapping is going on now I can tell you.. I am considerung having to go to one of those 'Launderettes' !!
      
      Hope your good hun xxx
      - deleted user (Visitor)
        
        Saturday, Sep. 05, 2009 @ 10:38:00
        
        roll on tuesday then....I don't think I would last that long.. thro Launderettes are not too bad
        
        hope tyou have a good weekend despite of all your challenges...I suppose they make life more interesting
        
        xx
        
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- soyunperdedor ^Pro
- http://soyunperdedor.blog.co.uk
- Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 22:06:49
Well the first thing to do is decide whether or not you really will be taking Oldest to the concert, regardless of what to do for the Youngest...

Decided?

Ok, if you're taking Oldest, all you have to say is "I knew you wouldn't like it, so I only booked it for me and your sister - I thought I'd let you decide what us two do instead".

If she whines, "So I take it you don't want to do anything instead? That's fine."
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 22:52:37
  Yes..I am taking her!..I think..
  
  Because the only thing really stopping me is fear of how youngest will react.. I think your idea will work well as she loves the whole 'I get to choose' thing.. I just hope she does'nt choose DisneyLand
  
  xxx
  - - soyunperdedor ^Pro
    - http://soyunperdedor.blog.co.uk
    - Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 22:54:21
    Say that's fine, if she's paying!
    
    Seriously, I was such a "You love her more than me" kid because my sister was always being taken to sporty things that I would've hated but I still felt left out. "We knew you'd hate it, so what would you like to do?" ALWAYS placated me.
    - - xmillyxxx ^Pro
      - Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 23:18:19
      I was the same..and there was 7 of us! I know it will work..I just hope she does'nt say Alton Tower's,KFC and a sleepover with 6 of her snotty friends..Dear God..Id rather take out a loan and do DisneyLand !
      - soyunperdedor ^Pro
        
        http://soyunperdedor.blog.co.uk
        
        Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 23:20:16
        
        Well if she does say that, you could always try crying and guilt trip her into an alternative such as feeding the ducks.
        
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        xmillyxxx ^Pro
        
        Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 11:33:34
        
        LMAO.. If I offerred a trip to fed the ducks Im sure she would give me the one fInger salute..and If I dared to start sniffling at her..I reckon she'd laugh! Actually..I will use that as a back up plan if it all gets too much..failing that..I may leave them both at home,cancel the McFly one,book the 'Big 70's' weekend with a mate and go and Rock it up instead x
        
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        soyunperdedor ^Pro
        
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        Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 11:41:00
        
        Much better plan!!
        
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- Usksider ^Pro
- http://www.usksider.co.uk
- Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 22:22:16
Well here's the thing... take eldest to Minehead and let her enjoy the McFly concert... and enjoy it yourself while you're at it (go on, I dare you!). Next year take youngest somewhere special... Alton Towers or whatever and stay over, leaving eldest at home...

Alternatively, get ex to cough up half the expense and take them both to see McFly
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 22:45:19
  In all fairness..Ex has offered to pay half..Well..Ok I asked ..But he would have offered anyway! But the extra £100 he's paying is what we will use towards the fuel and WKD's!
  
  Im sure youngest will understand anyway..she will mega strop..but I will treat her to something of her choice! x
  - - Usksider ^Pro
    - http://www.usksider.co.uk
    - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 07:09:30
    I'm sure it's the wise thing to do...
    - - xmillyxxx ^Pro
      - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 10:25:20
      Which part..Drinking the WKD's or taking youngest away? x
      - Usksider ^Pro
        
        http://www.usksider.co.uk
        
        Monday, Sep. 07, 2009 @ 07:55:24
        
        How about both
        
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        xmillyxxx ^Pro
        
        Monday, Sep. 07, 2009 @ 11:04:52
        
        I'll stick to drinking the WKD's for now..Much kinder to my sanity ..I am kidding BTW! x
        
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        Usksider ^Pro
        
        http://www.usksider.co.uk
        
        Monday, Sep. 07, 2009 @ 20:19:32
        
        I'll believe you
        
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        xmillyxxx ^Pro
        
        Monday, Sep. 07, 2009 @ 22:59:51
        
        Does <<< that face look like it would lie??
        
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        Usksider ^Pro
        
        http://www.usksider.co.uk
        
        Tuesday, Sep. 08, 2009 @ 06:30:39
        
        Not a chance!
        
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- happy28 ^Pro
- Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 22:31:34
all the ideas are good, but i especially like Uskys alternative.

besides kids always claim parents have a favourite, my kid sis thinks this purely because i was born first, and happen to be able to have conversations with mum!

whatever you do your kids'll get over it

x
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 10:28:09
  Your right hun..Whatever I choose it will work out ok.
  
  Sibling rivalry will always be around regardless...we had it as kids and Im sure my kid's will expierience it with thier own ..and I will remind them of this when they do
  
  xxx
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- skip2468
- Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 22:39:35
It's absolutely a family matter and I'm sure not sticking my nose in - and possibly spoil the party.
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 10:29:08
  I think that I will have to have 2 partys so there will be no spoiling! x
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- ravingmad
- Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 23:07:48
I think the same as everyone else - plan something with just you and her, and with a bit of luck she won't mind you taking Natalie to the concert as she'll have her own treat to look forward to.
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 10:32:30
  I think that what I will do is what Soy suggests and when I tell youngest about it(over sweets and a cartoon!) ..is tell her that I knew the concert would'nt be her cup of tea..so she can choose her treat! Hopefully that should placate her enough..fingers crossed!
  
  And I don't have a Natalie..that Trina
  
  Hugs xxx
  - - ravingmad
    - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 18:12:05
    BOL Sorry Milly - Bound to happen sooner or later that I got someone's names mixed up on blog - I'm always the doing it in real life!! I knew Natalie was one of Trina's girls and not yours - don't know why I said it!!
    
    Anyway, I'll keep my fingers crossed that she's not too upset when you tell her as she'll be having her own treat anyway
    - - xmillyxxx ^Pro
      - Saturday, Sep. 05, 2009 @ 01:25:46
      I am always doing that hun..But in real life! I'll ask someone how thier wife is..And Ive got the wrong husband..Or worse..the Ex wife
      
      Finger's firmly crossed please hun..Im thinking of not telling either..So a)..Its a nice surprise for eldest,I'll collect her from school on the friday and just drive!..And b)..I can explain to youngest when I get back that now her treat will begin so shall we choose somewhere..And she will be too excited to whinge..As she has already spent the weekend whinging when her Dad breaks the new's..whilst we are safley on the way.. x
      - ravingmad
        
        Saturday, Sep. 05, 2009 @ 16:52:54
        
        That sounds like an excellent plan! He could even pretend that he doesn't know where you've both gone to - the suspense just might preclude any whinging!
        
        I'll certainly keep my fingers (and legs) firmly crossed for you anyway XX
        
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        xmillyxxx ^Pro
        
        Saturday, Sep. 05, 2009 @ 17:50:19
        
        I don't often have good idea's..So am quite impressed..Although it was RubyChoo who planted the seed.. And he has agreed to go along with my plan! We just need to talk in tongues now so we don't let the cat outta the bag
        
        And my legs are always crossed..Especially when sneezing!! x
        
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        ravingmad
        
        Saturday, Sep. 05, 2009 @ 20:57:10
        
        Tenor Lady! XX
        
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- MissyMouse
- Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 23:29:41
So before you tell the girls you must make sure you have plan B on standby. You tell the eldest about the camp and McFly etc and then turn around to youngest and say that she isn't being left out and just what would she want to do. Also add that you will be spending the same amount on them both too!

xx
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 10:36:41
  It's hard work being a parent aint it! I have'nt mentioned anything yet as Im so scared that youngest is gonna be upset with me..And I hate it when she does the face!
  
  But your right..I need to explain to her that she will get the same time with me..And by letting her choose her treat aswell,she will feel more included too.. Wish me luck !
  
  xxx
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- trintrin1x
- Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 23:37:54
Kids Eh! She will still love you in the end up so go with the big yin and do something else with the wee yin,
Natalie seems to think i am going to buy her a REAL Channel bag for her 18th in November "pfft" dream on xx
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 10:39:13
  I know..they drive me up the wall sometimes! I wish that I had'nt seen the concert deal! I am gonna do it as it will be really nice to spend some quality time with them both and I am planning on taking youngest somewhere of her choice at a later date.. If she lets me!
  
  As for Natalies 'real' Chanel bag..they do some great fake one's on Ebay..id never know the difference! xx
  - - trintrin1x
    - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 10:53:49
    Nether would i but she said i wasn't to get a fake one she would know xx
    - - xmillyxxx ^Pro
      - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 15:11:29
      But would she though!! Mind you..Theses kid's are alot cleverer than us aint they when it comes to all this designer gear! Tell her that if she has a fake one..no one would know but her..and think of all the other stuff she could have aswell xx
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- rubychoo
- Thursday, Sep. 03, 2009 @ 23:45:58
It's like playing ping-pong with a bomb innit ?

Would it backfire if you let youngest in on the 'secret' ?...

If you asked her did she think it would be a nice present for her older sister and could she help everyone keep it quiet ?

Like Purple Dragon said, you have to treat them differently ...

Youngest can start browsing for a similarly priced treat (or you tell her that she will get a surprise too) and you can start saving-up ...
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 11:23:04
  WEll..I had thought about not telling youngest at all..and asking eldest to keep the secret..But if that backfired that would be a very big bomb! Not to mention very naughty of me as Id be lying to youngest and it goes against everything I teach them..
  
  But..Your idea could work as if I get youngest to believe that she is 'Secret keeper' she will feel that she is 'know it all' ..And although she will go around being all smug and dropping hints..She will feel much more involved.Which may keep her on side and the knives from my back
  
  And in the meantime she can look for somewhere nice for just the 2 of us to go..Fingers crossed!
  
  xx
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- malakeas ^Pro
- http://www.blog.co.uk/user/malakeas
- Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 00:56:47
Sibling rivalry will never stop (in my opinion) but you can reassure both girls that they are loved by you and that's that. Take the eldest and then do something with the youngest maybe before you go, so she feels special as well.

And who the heck is McFly?

Sincerely,

Ole Fogey Mala.

xxx
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 11:39:11
  ..You have never heard of McFly! They a very tasty looking boyband.. But Im old enough to be all of their mummies ...I can see why eldest adores them that is for sure!
  
  Yes..Sibling rivalry will always be a part of life..I remember doing it when I was little...And I still do it now! ..Im going to tell little one (carefully) about the trip and ask what she would like to do..after she has beat the shit outta me..And seeing as the trip is a while away,before might be a better option.. Im sure she will take it ok..she really can be a stroppy madam..and I mean that in the nicest possible way
  
  Luff you xx
  - - malakeas ^Pro
    - http://www.blog.co.uk/user/malakeas
    - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 11:43:21
    You are a great mum my friend. Luffs you. xxxx
    - - xmillyxxx ^Pro
      - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 14:26:04
      Thank you..If I turn out to be a good a Mum as mine..I'll be happy
      
      Luffs you back xx
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- safriz
- http://www.conspiror.blog.co.uk
- Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 01:22:28
If they are in their teen ages,then there isnt much you can do.You will have to wait until they grow out of it.In the mean time dont think too much about it or you will get a headache
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 11:41:27
  I wish they was teenager's..It would be sooo much easier! They are alot easier to talk to at that age..are'nt they?!
  
  Unfortunatly my youngest is only 9 so is a bit sensitive..but i'll sort it..And thinking on it had indeed given me a headache..Or was that the wine!!
  
  Hugs xx
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- Rosiebud
- Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 10:47:39
Arg! I know nothing of these tricky parenting issues, it's a minefield though isn't it... everyone's advice sounds right and fair.
What ever you do though it will be right because you love your girls and even though they may say otherwise love and attention is what matters most.

XXX
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 11:45:30
  Im not sure I know enough either hun! Which is why I blogged it to get an outside opinion as *I* felt that I was being a bit unfair to youngest..
  
  But it's not really that im being unfair as I will make it up to her at a later/earlier date by doing something with her. Its horrible whn you think you are going to upset them..And I know that there will be tears and tantrums when I tell her *sigh*.. But I have some good tactics thanks to everyones good advice here..Id be lost without you lot ya know!
  
  Luvs ya xx
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- Bushka ^Pro
- Bushka
- Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 11:27:00
BDA seems to have summed it up beautifully for you in her early comment....x
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 14:26:52
  She sure did..She's a good un that woman xx
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- malakeas ^Pro
- http://www.blog.co.uk/user/malakeas
- Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 11:43:55
And I is an ancient ole cow. xx
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 14:51:07
  Nah ya not! I aint got a clue who's who! If it was'nt for the kids Id be way outta touch with the world..but as It happens I could name all of the TeleTubbies..And sing the theme tune! ..no mean feat I can assure ya!
  
  kisses xxxx
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- PurpleDragon
- Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 15:00:57
Woo-hoo! You're a Featured Blog!
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 15:16:00
  Am I? Bloody hell..What did I do for that to happen
  
  Thanks for letting me know *scurries off to check before im gone* xx
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- Artisam
- Friday, Sep. 04, 2009 @ 18:19:37
There are a lot of great mum's advice above and I agree too.
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Saturday, Sep. 05, 2009 @ 01:40:23
  I know..You guy's rock ..Which is why this is always my first port of call when I have a wibble x
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- luckystar2591
- Saturday, Sep. 05, 2009 @ 00:52:49
I personallty would not take either of them, spend the 200 squid on taking them to a concert of something that is not Mcfly, (think they are trying to take over the world,in league with jonas brothers for defo) which would will be able to be get cheaper and take both of them.
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Saturday, Sep. 05, 2009 @ 02:02:38
  But McFly are rather cute..
  
  Eldest loves McFly..and Its not just the concert you get,You do get 3 days at 'Butlin's ...Give me a 'Oohhh..' ..And a all you can eat buffet breakfast and evening meal!..
  
  Decision's,Decision's...
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- adamantixx
- http://trifledreamz.blogspot.com
- Saturday, Sep. 05, 2009 @ 17:50:20
if it was Girls Aloud then i might solve your dilemma by taking the tickets off your hands but McFly...sorry, no!
i think it's a nice idea but has too much hassle attached to it so i'd give it a miss, darlin x
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- - xmillyxxx ^Pro
  - Saturday, Sep. 05, 2009 @ 17:56:48
  Hello you.. Have you noticed that I have found you on the 'other side' ?
  
  If it was Girl's aloud..Id offer you to come with me..Im sure they'd be up for drinks in my room after
  
  It will cause some hassle..But I have some good tactics..Firstly Im not telling any of them!Im just picking her up from school and going..Big surprise for eldest..And when youngest asks where we are..She will then be informed that I have gone..I won't have to hear the whinging(result!) ..and by the time I get back she will be ok..And ready to choose her treat away with mummy..that's the plan anyway..Think it will work? x
  - - adamantixx
    - http://trifledreamz.blogspot.com
    - Saturday, Sep. 05, 2009 @ 18:06:36
    hello darlin, of course i noticed...i notice EVERYTHING you do...i'm always very pleased to see you!
    i think your plan might just work depending how long it takes her to simmer down and i hope it does for the sake of your sanity!
    if you can fix it with Girls Aloud then i'll let you choose between Cheryl, Kimberley, Sarah & Nadine...not Nicola though, she's mine!!! x
    - - xmillyxxx ^Pro
      - Saturday, Sep. 05, 2009 @ 18:11:42
      I thought you would notice..I leave little hint's that it's me ..Although I miss you not blogging here ..
      
      Well..she has 3 day's to calm down and I shall ring to see how she is.If she's still 'in one' ..I'll stay a few more days
      
      I'll let you have Nicola..Ive always preferred Cheryl meself..Although Im not as keen now she's lost those curves of her's..And I don't mind going second with Nicola... x
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