Some of you have noticed my lack of 'attendance' here recently..Not to mention my piss poor 'have a hug' comments..
I feel I should explain..
I have been ill for a while now..but things have been getting worse over the last month or so..Im sick and tired of being sick and tired!
I spend hour's online looking for answers..I don't think that I will find any,I actually think that it add's to the paranoia...A paranoia that is probably caused by smoking weed! (shock horror!) Yes..I do smoke weed..I will openly admit that..but when you ache and hurt as much as I do..you may understand..so please don't judge me!
I am losing weight rapidly...My hair is falling out...(I assumed it was from a home hair dye gone wrong..but its not!)..every bone in my body aches..it would be fair to say that my skeleton aches! I don't sleep for more than a few hours each night..No feeling in the end's of my finger's..I have constant shakes and have even been accused of drinking too much..My skin has a lovely grey tinge to it..My mind just does'nt function properly anymore..im forgetgetfull..And I have major issues with food's..I just don't seem to have an appetite..ever!I thought that the weed might give me the 'munchies'..but no! ... And none of my sypmtoms are from smoking weed so that is that the outta the window before any anti drug police wanna have a pop at me...
I 'googled' my symptoms and thought it could be my hormone injection..which you are meant to be on for no longer than 3 years.I have been on it for over double that! So spoke with my GP who agreed to take me off it..but did'nt think that was to blame.. I have decided to be sterilized as i don't wanna risk taking more hormones and fucking myself up some more..
Then it was thought it could be my migraine med's .'Topamax' .. but nowhere on the patient info sheet was hairloss listed as a side effect..
But I found a forum and loads of people have similar problems to mine..But all he suggested when i mentioned it was more blood tests..In the mean time..I have to go on feeling like shit,Losing more weight..And living in fear of waking up completly bald..thats the bit that scares me most..every day i lose a little bit more hair... And I am fed up of people telling me i look ill..I KNOW!!
And Im scared to come off the med's..when you rely on something..even when you think it's making you ill..But it makes me better..does that make sense?
Im not sure how much more i can take!
And Im sure this post will see a drop in my friends..(Who want's to be seen with a 'pot-head!)..but If Im honest..even though the numbers are still the same..They have dropped anyway..
xxx
